Duce & Nobble

Advice from Agony Aunt Agnes Crowley

A reader wrote in:

Honourable Agnes,
My husband’s dream is to join a travelling circus show. He thinks he is a great magician, but he’s rubbish. He can’t even pull a rabbit out of a hat without losing a finger. He’s running out of fingers, and I don’t want him to go. He insists there is nothing else he would rather do with his life, and I’m afraid one day he’ll simply ignore my protests and just run off with the next act that passes through town. What can I do?
–Hoppity Hop

Agnes had this to say:

Dear Hoppity Hop,
What sort of wife are you? You should support your husband. You weren’t aware of this life’s dream when you married him? You should become his assistant and wear something tarty. If he’s really rubbish none of the good acts will take him, anyway. You’ll probably end up with a lot of highwaymen who will murder you both in your sleep for the clothes off your back, which will effectively solve both the problem of your husband’s ineptitude and your constant whinging.
A. Crowley



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